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hi everyone! in this video ithought i'd introduce you to my various personalities. how thisis going to work is several, but not all, are going to have asegment where they talk freely, without a script. the onlypart that is scripted is this beginning part. because whatthey will say is unscripted and uncut, it is very difficultfor me to do because i feel like some of it can be quiterevealing. things that i wouldn't normally discuss orthat are just not part of my character. the ones that willspeak on their behalf are the
protectors, autumn and iris, thehost, the sexual alter, and some other one that i don't know whatis going on. so, many of these are actually shown in a shortvideo i did some time ago. if you would like to view it, justclick on the image up there. i really loved this video. itwas fun to produce, thought was difficult to watch some of itbecause it brought back some bad memories. anyway, there area few things i would like to clarify first. when i say "i" inall these videos that i do, i do not mean "i" as in thepersonality talking to the
camera. rather, i am primarilyreferring to the dominant personalities. the host and bothprotectors are the ones that are in control almost all the time.so, that is what i mean by "i." this video, however, will breakthat rule and when they say "i" they will mostly bereferring to themselves, talking about themself in particular.another thing is, i realize all these personalities are me.again, "me" meaning my entire person as a whole. some peoplewho dissociate from an aspect of themselves don't acknowledgea particular side of them.
i however have learned this andit helps tremendously since denial is very very bad and abig part of this disorder. since i have been able to do this, itis quite easy for me to accept them. additionally, the lineis somewhat blurred between the dominant ones at least asthey share many of the same characteristics. they can havedifferent views and opinions on things, but i see them all asone in the same. now, there are sides to myself that i stillhave a very difficult time accepting, particularly thesexual side. i say i'm not a
sexual person at all, but havelearned to step back from that statement and say, "you knowwhat, i'm in denial, that's a lie." to me, since i denied mysexual side, i never even knew about it until i realized,"yeah, i have a sexual side and it has a mind of its own."acceptance is very important. it is easy to switch on commandwhen relaxed. i discussed this and how did correlates withhypnosis in my proof of did video if you are interested.however, this can really only happen for me when at homeand alone, where i spend 95%
of my time anyway. when i'm outor just in a very stressful situation, it may not be toogreat and can be uncontrollable and frustrating.so, let the introductions begin! hi, my name is autumn. i am oneof the protectors. how i like to view the protectors are, youhave the host, and then you have the first protector which is me,and then you have the second one which is iris. and these are howthey correlate with the host. in other words, like how similarthey are i guess to the host. i am the primary protector. i'mthe one that is usually out most
of the time. and, i'm also theone that is probably the most similar to the host in that isuffer with a lot of mental problems. not as bad, idefinitely can see things more logically and rationally.but, not as much as the second protector. so, i guessthat's kinda what i'm getting at by...you have the host all theway down here, and then me, and then the second one. so, i... well, i don't know what else tosay. i guess...this is my style. just dark, black, gothstyle. that's just what i like.
i don't really knowwhat else to say. i'm losing my train of thought. well, i guess you could sayi, you know, take a lot of the abuse for the host. since i amthe one that is usually out the most, any kind of thing that issaid whether it be online or out in person, there certainlyare probably the most amount of insults online, because that'swhere i spend most of my time here on the internet. so but, inperson there's definitely been some occurrences as well. so,i'm the one who just takes that
and just kinda just laughs atit like, "come on?!" i mean, if you've seen the q&a videos thati do i just laugh at that crap that people say it's soridiculous. so, that's primarily what i do. other than that iguess there really isn't too much to know about me. so, yeah! hi, this is iris. i am thesecond protector, but also not out as often. i am veryoptimistic and positive. i am generally more relaxed and calm.i really help the host with her mental problems. i do notreally struggle with any kind of
problems myself. i can getnervous at times of course. but, for the most part i am generallyvery positive, very optimistic, and very relaxed. i can seethings very rationally and clearly. i am the one thatthe host really looks up to and would really like to be somedayin terms of how i think and how i act because i am so positiveand so easygoing, i guess you could say. i am also a veryspiritual and philosophical person. i am also...regardingabuse i am able to let it go. i do not fixate my attention onit or obsess over it like the
host unfortunately does. mystyle is very different from the other ones. they generally weara lot of dark colors and i am the opposite of that. igenerally wear a lot of whites and i like teals. i like toexperiment differently with my makeup and i like to wear myhair a little differently, like generally i part it on the sideversus in the center. i just like to do different things.different things that i like that are unique and creative andreally express who i am. another thing is, i tend to talk alittle different than the other
ones. i think this is because ofhow relaxed and calm that i am. i tend to have a slightly highervoice at times. i also move my mouth a little differently i'venoticed, like i can...you can tell like how my mouth is movingi can enunciate a lot better. i don't have any real problemswith stuttering or getting my words out. i can generallytalk freely without any kinds of problems. and as i said, iguess this is because i can talk slower, get my words out, andi'm just overall more relaxed and calm and it's not difficultfor me to really do anything
stressful because i canperceiver because of how calm and relaxed i am during it. so, that is pretty much me.thank you for taking the time to listen about me! hi. it's very hard for me to dothis video because i don't like having videos of myself online.and, i see them on there and i don't know why there arevideos of myself on there. and, i do wanna delete them all. idon't want anything to do with them or communicating withpeople. i don't like talking
with people. especially with allthe negative things people say. because it may not seem like itaffects me at all, but yeah it does. people sayingrude, hateful things. saying i just made a whole bunch ofmistakes with things. and just, so many other things.and...i don't know... just, reading back thosehateful, hateful things is just really really upsetting. and, idon't know why there are videos of myself online sayingthings that i don't talk about. i don't get it.
because, i realize that at onepoint something was said that i didn't delete any commentsor anything and that's a lie because i have. because it wasjust too bad. and then it's like i block the people on there andthen they go away...and i don't know what i'm doing anymore withthat. i just wanted it to all go away. and thanks to stupidgoogle, all those bad comments are right up top, so yeahthat's even better. because it's already bad enough to read thosecomments and then to get them right up top and then awhole bunch of people liking the
comment and agreeing withthem, and then...yeah... why? i mean even just the good onesare...well they're not good at all because they're all bad.because what happened is the supposed good ones all have ahidden motive, people have. they do, yes they do. because when i read a 'good'comment, it is not good. i don't perceive it as good. becausewhat i see is a hidden motive just to make me think that it'sgood, but it is really not good.
and, it's very very bad. so, ijust...i don't know what i'm doing on there. i don't knowwhy videos are on there. i don't know why i'm talking aboutthings on there. i don't want to be on there. i just want todelete them all, not talk to anyone, not associate withanyone. that is what i want to do. because i do not like peoplebecause they are very very mean. all of them. they all are. and,you can't tell me otherwise. because, if you do, if you say,if you say, "oh, i'm not trying to do you harm. i'm not tryingto hurt you." you know what the
first thing i'm going to thinkof is? that you're trying to make me believe thatyou're not but you really are. because you are. so yeah. so, i recorded this video and idon't want it online but this is going to go online,i know it. it sucks. hey guys and girls, it's timefor my introduction. what is my name? well, my name doesn'tmatter. all that matters is all this. all this. for you see, i am very good atseducing people. just to get
them to do what i want. rightnow i am seducing you and you don't even know it. it's so easyto seduce, especially men. they are so easy. i don't even haveto do a single thing and they're already working for me. so, what is there to knowabout me? what else would you like to know about me? well, let's see here. let'sjust say that i keep getting repressed. all the sexualdesires i have keep getting repressed. and, that only makesme stronger. they keep trying to
block me out, trying to make meseem like i am not worthy. and that only makes it worse forthem because then that helps me become much more sexual. so, they say that they've neverhad sex. but come on, do you honestly believe all this hasnever experienced something? well, i guess it depends onif you consider rape to be losing one's virginity.yes, i did that. but, that was back when i was amale. yes, can you believe this was a male? i bet you can't, notat all. because you can't tell.
but, it's so much nicer being afemale now. so much easier to seduce men. but, what's thedifference? when i was a male, the hormones really, reallymade the sex drive really really high. i was much more active asa male. i was very kinky. i did a lot of crazy things thatyou're not going to know anyone else that does. not anyone. now,there is no sexual drive. and that drives me crazy. just likeyou right now watching this, you're driving me crazy. i don'teven see you but you are. what else should i say?
let's just say that it's a lotnicer being a female now. as i said before, it's a lot easierto seduce. but, i'm not allowed to be sexually involved. theyhave a lot of control over me. they really do. well, as much as i would love tojust take off my clothes right here on the camera, i can'tbecause it's youtube. you'll have to find me on a differentsite. but, i'm not allowed. i'm not permitted to go on thosesites. oh well. maybe one day if they keep blocking me out i'llgrow so strong that they won't
be able to control me.that's my goal. they won't be able to control me forever. so, until we seeeach other again, wishing you all a goodnight. alright, i'm making this videobecause this girl that you watch is fake. totally fake.everything she says is fake. i don't get it. i don't get whyshe keeps saying that. i keep saying...really? you're going toplay this game. oh my gosh, no. we're not going to play thisgame. i just keep saying that.
just totally, totally fake. ijust, i don't get it. how could anyone believe her...oh, lookslike i'm being fake now, aren't i? alright, let's get real here,let's get real. you wanna see real? i'll show you real? ok, ikeep telling her just how fake she is. just saying, "you are sofake." oh, i'm being fake right now that's what i'm being.so fake. this is going to be all cut out. fake. alright look, i'm making thisvideo because this girl that you
watch on these videos is totallyfake. everything she says, everything she dealt with, fake.well, you know, her experiences that she went through are notfake. but, just all these mental disorders? i mean, how couldanyone exaggerate so much? and not only that, she thinks she'shelping people with that crap. how could anyone believe her, orhow could she think that she's helping anyonebecause of how fake she is? it really pisses me off becausei keep saying how fake she is. and by 'she' i mean me, becauseit's me. but, you know, just by
saying that it's likedissociating right there but it's not. because i am herand she is me. i keep saying that and she's like,"oh no, i'm not you." and just, stupid, stupid... she just doesn't listen. youknow i say, "why don't you make a video, you know, apologizingto everyone for how fake you are. by how you're saying allthese lies. how much you're exaggerating." and all thisstuff and she's not going to do it. so, that's why i thought i'ddo it. but, i am her, she is me
and she knows that. sheplans everything. everything is planned out beforehand. thisconversation right here, this was planned out. this wasrecorded several times because i didn't say theright things. and by me i mean her and she knows that. she is so fucking fake.can't you see that? now, what she went through inher life, that is real with what she said. but, she exaggeratesthese mental problems so much. these people online who saythat, this one person said, "oh,
you use these mental problems tomake yourself seem more unique." you know what they gotit, they understand. and another message i hadto record this after the fact. this person get's it 100%: i think you are a connivingperson. just a gut feeling about you based on what you say aboutyourself squared against your looks, knowledge and yourpersona. i'm thinking half of the personal details you shareare embellishment/mistruth. maybe you've learned to bedishonest/deceptive to help with
your transgender trauma so i'mnot labelling you a bad person ok. i hope i don't trigger anybad feelings in you. maybe i'm the paranoid one forsaying this! just i don't buy a lot of what you've said. yeah! why can't you allunderstand and realize already that she is fake. pleasedon't be oblivious to this. open your eyes people. she just looks at that and juststarts getting so upset. it's like, "you know what? thatperson is right. stop being
fake, stop overthinking it, stopdoing all this." there is no multiple personality thinggoing on. there's no mental problems going on. so, i don't know. now, i understand that peopledo struggle with these sort of things. but this girl, this oneright here, no, she doesn't. so, how could she possibly helpanyone if she doesn't experience it herself? she tries to turnthis attention...just...i'm just getting very very angry at this.so hopefully, if she doesn't cut
this part out. which you knowwhat? she's not going to cut this out because i'm sittinghere saying, "oh, she is gonna cut this out." and, she's notgoing to cut it out now because she's going to prove me wrong.she's going to put it online and we'll see just how many people,how many people can see how fake she is and how many people sheloses on there. that's another thing. she just gets...when shesees these other people online who are like more popular makingthese types of videos, she gets so upset like, "oh, i wantall the attention. i want all
those people." and i'mjust like, i just want to punch her in the fucking face. alright, i'm going to say onemore thing. and that one more thing is that she is fake.don't believe anything she says. because i will know because i amher, she is me. i know what she does, she knows what i do, weall know what we all do because there is no 'we' there is only'i.' she just overthinks it all, causes her own problems, anddoes her own thing. she only has herself to blame. sostupid. so fucking stupid.
don't believe her, that'sall i'm going to say. ok? don't believe her. that's goingto be the end of this video. so, i hope this video wasinformative and helped you get more insight into my world.thanks for watching!
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